Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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