I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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