Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
