i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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