And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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