yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
