How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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