Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My bed smells like the plague
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
