After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize