TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
