I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Come on in and take your pants off
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