I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
