apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
