She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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