just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Farmville is her only friend.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Two words: nipple clamps
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