I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize