Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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