You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
