3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
