he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
