He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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