my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
