Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
