Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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