every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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