my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
