Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize