a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
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went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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