his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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