i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
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I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
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My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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