Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize