VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
