Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
