For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
