Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize