Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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