dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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