I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
