I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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