I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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