Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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