would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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