Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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