and my herpes radar will keep us safe
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
