Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
