Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
