How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
