you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
