Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
