you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.