i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
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Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
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jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.