here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
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so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.