"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
