you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
