Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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