How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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