Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
