operation harelip BJ is a go
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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