he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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